What If...

(Source: trophyfatherstrophydaughter)

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i promise to get back to this.
once i’m finished with exams.
priorities.
I’m trying to have those…

Not shooting down dates: A story of one date, and the promise of a story of the other.

So I’ve been on two dates in one week.
One was horrific, the other was kind of great.
Usually… I just don’t go on dates.
For the most part, I date assholes.
I’ve never actually been asked out before. Usually, I just somehow wind up dating someone.
I can not even explain how that happens, and it’s rather strange now that I think about it.
Anyways, so it’s really bizarre that two people asked me out in one week.
And… why not?
The first guy that asked me out used such ambiguous terms that I was under the impression he had asked me to hang out with our friends. (We share a group of friends.) So I obliviously thought “That’s a weird thing to ask, of course I’ll hang out with you I mean everybody hangs out together all the time anyways…”
And then later I realized that maybe he was actually asking me out, and he was.

Let me just tell you about this date.
So, he shows up and I ask who else is coming, and he says “nobody.” and my reaction was, “oh… OHHHHHH.” Then he says “Where do you want to eat?”
He’s been here two years, I’ve been here a month. I know of a pizza place and a bar. How on earth am i supposed to know where to eat?
So we walk.
I’m wearing really cute boots. WITH HEELS OKAY.
I didn’t expect to be walking five miles that night
So after walking around for an hour looking for a damn place to eat, my feet are screaming, and so is my stomach. and apparently walking is the hip thing to do now. But… ow.
So we wind up at this obscure as shit chinese restaurant- the kind with anime baby dragons on the wall and four trillion things on the menu, which just kind of seem like variations of the same exact thing but with different sauces.
Then, he starts talking about his high school experience.
Now, he went to high school with one of my best friends.
I tell him this is one of my best friends.
And yet, he proceeds to say that my friend is annoying and he hated him in high school. So, I’m just sitting there, staring at my blobby chicken shit and broccoli as this guy berates my friend, until it gets to the point that I almost punch him in the face.
He apologizes after i say “I mean, you heard me when I said that he is one of my best friends, right?”
But wait there’s more…
So other than the bit about my friend, and making me walk for years, the conversation was alright. But at this point I had decided this guy was just really not for me.
And then.
and then.
The check…

Now, I’m the type of person who will try to pay for herself.
Don’t get me wrong. That’s not the issue here.

The issue here is that before I even had a chance to say I’ve got my half covered, he says, “You brought money with you, right? I don’t think we’re at the place where I’m paying for you yet.”

…
…

THEN, after we pay and leave. We’re walking, and he says, “I thought you were shorter.” Maybe he meant it in a quiet observation sort of way, but it came across as… “I really preferred you when I thought I was taller than you, and now I feel emasculated because we’re the same height.”
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a bad guy or anything. But I just never really want to go on another date with him.

He texted me a couple days after, asking what i was doing later. I responded “So much homework. Homework up to my ears. I’m going to die I have so much homework. And so homework and then my funeral.”
I didn’t have a lot of homework… I lied about that.

So there’s the story about date number one. I’ll tell you all about date number two later.
It’s basically the polar opposite of the story I just told you.
So that’s something to look forward to…

That whole exercise thing…

Well… first of all, I’m ashamed of myself for neglecting this blog. It’s been a whirlwind getting adjusted to a new city, a new school, a new life, a new everything…
But I’m starting to feel a little more at ease. I love it here, it is a very friendly and positive environment. I have never made a better decision than this.
That being said, I really let my exercise goal fall into the abyss that is procrastination.
But… the other day I bought a hula hoop!
I’m going to start hooping. For the past three days I’ve managed to get in about 45 minutes of hooping a day, and today I’ve been trying to teach myself some tricks.
I can tell this hobby is going to be the source of a lot of new bruises, but it feels worth it.
I can already feel my core strengthening.
I love hula hooping, and I’m damn proud of myself for taking the initiative to, at least, buy a hoop.
I actually think I will have no problem keeping up with this.

In other news, I have woken up at 9 AM or earlier, every single weekday I have been here, and I don’t really sleep late on the weekends anymore either. I adore feeling so productive. I feel like I’m really getting my life in order. I’m taking care of myself.
I even got a cat. But that’s a whole other post. I’ll probably address that tomorrow.

For now, though, it’s back to hooping.

Anonymous asked: you should try your hand at actually posing for artistic pictures. believe what you may, you have a great figure for it. look into it, if you're interested.

Thank you very much!

I’ve actually been told this before, and I’ve been asked to model a few times, but it never seems to pan out.
I’m willing to, though.

Tags: Anonymous

des-etoiles:

can you guys see all my shit in the back of the car?
not very well I guess, oh well.
I’m bringing everything home.
I’m never going back.
Next semester is going to be a new school, a new life, a new outlook.
I am glowing with anticipation.
This is an enormous risk, but it’s one I think I’ll be glad I took.

For now, I rest my mind, and enjoy the transition.
I am going to take the longest, most majestic shower when i get home.

Deciding to transfer schools was such an enormous decision. I was comfortable where I was, though not particularly happy. I felt caged, but that held a certain amount of comfort, because while being in a cage keeps you from getting out, it also keeps things from getting in. I was safe. I was bored, and I felt like I was becoming boring. I want to work, I want to explore, I want to have somewhere to go. I want to be around people who dress well, and are intellectual but not pretentious. Winthrop just was not that place for me. I want to be challenged, but on my level. I wanted options.
So, I made the big change. I went through with it. I am no longer an eagle. I am a cougar. College of Charleston.
I’ve always been more of a cat than a bird, anyways.

Here’s to hoping for the best, and to staying inspired!

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Exercise… Finally getting around to that.

I’m not exactly a big person.
In fact, I’m underweight for my height, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about that.
However, I have essentially no muscle mass, and that which I do possess is gained over the summer while I’m working at camp, and is slowly lost as I get into the school year.

I’ve been meaning to get around to actually exercising for about three years now. My legs are fairly strong, something that I attribute to my sixteen years of riding, but fairly strong is in relation to the rest of my body, which is fairly weak. And by fairly weak I mean that I struggle to lift anything over thirty pounds, and it’s actually pretty embarrassing.

I’ve always told myself, “Oh, Jess, you will exercise once you find the right method for you.” Funny thing about methods, though, is that you actually have to try some out to find one that suits you. Which, I have conveniently disregarded for a few years, as my muscles slowly but surely became virtually nonexistent. I would say to myself, “Jess, you are naturally flexible (I am, i’m kind of proud of it, get mad about my lack of humility there), and so, you don’t need to be strong. As long as you are flexible you don’t need to be strong…or fast… or graceful…” Well, guess what I realized today?

I am full of shit. Yeah, I am flexible. I’m also asthmatic, prone to illness. I would not even make an effective paperweight. Basically, I need to get over myself and actually start exercising every day. Even if it’s just a little bit.

So, today, I thought to myself, “I’m never going to go the the gym. I’ll just accept that. I wonder if there are any exercise videos online…”
Well, DUH, there are exercise videos online. But, I wanted high quality ones. Ones that didn’t move too quickly for me, and had clear images and directions so I knew what the hell I should be doing.

So… I went to Hulu.
Now, Hulu must have been aware of my intentions because right there on the home page was an advert/link to a yoga video. An actual full length (15 minutes=feature film as far as exercise goes, according to me) yoga video and not just a minute long clip of one.
Well, Universe, thank you. I took this as a sign, and I began at the beginning.
Gaiam Yoga: Lower Body Yoga for Beginners

That is a link to the video I did. My only thing is that there are still commercials during it… so I would be in the middle of a pose, and I would not know what to do with myself during the commercials… And let me tell you, holding chair pose for forty seconds longer than you are intended to does not make your legs smile. In fact, it makes them scream and spasm. And when the video says to go into child’s pose, your head is supposed to be down… so I did not actually realize the video was over, and found myself curled up on the floor for a good minute before I realized my computer had gone silent, and the screensaver had popped up.

Other than that, I feel super duper. Ready to take on the day. And study for exams. I’m trying to tell myself I’m all centered and focused from my yoga session. We’ll see how long that lasts, and I’ll move on to video two tomorrow.

I also discovered a form of exercise which involves hula hoops. Now, I don’t mean to sound proud here, but I am actually the greatest hula hooper ever in the world created. And I say that completely humbly. And by sarcastically mentioning how humble that is, and therefore establishing that I am aware it is not humble, it makes it acceptable for me to say that.
Needless to say, I have added a hula hoop to my christmas list, and I’m hoping for the glittery kind.

You hear that Santa? Money and a glittery hula hoop.
I believe in you.
Don’t let me down.

So this is what I drew…

Item number 2: Volunteering to do stuff I don’t actually have to do

Okay, so I actually do like volunteering. I do a lot of it. Whatever. But that’s for charities and stuff that I care about a whole lot. But I can still help out with other stuff. Putting my time and effort into something to make life easier for someone else? Sounds good to me. But I hardly ever do it.
When I realized this about myself, I was kind of blown away. Because, what kind of person am I if I only do good works for those who obviously need it. Everybody could use some help sometimes, even if they are not homeless or dying. Those people might need my help more, but I can’t always be there to help them. What I can do, is still focus my energies into helping others.
So, I volunteered to draw these elves for my Theater Applications professor. He has to make a set for Santa’s Workshop for something in town this weekend. It’s not exactly charity work, but it’ll make kids happy. And he’s pretty down to the wire on this. So, I figured I’d make his life a little bit easier, and I’m donating my time to drawing these elves on panels. They’re inspired by the guy who drew the Snap, Crackle, Pop characters. It is super easy, though slightly time consuming, work. But it’s fun, and worth it.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have some elves to draw. I’ll take pictures and post them later. Because they are really adorable.

First thing on my list: Read those books I’ve always said I’ll read, but never got around to.

Book one on my list-
Looking For Alaska by John Green

I’vr been told this book is life-changing. I’ve been meaning to read it for a little while. I just have a tendency to go to a book store, pick up a million books I want to read, then I carry them all around for thirty minutes, before I book them each back on the shelf because I can’t afford them right now.
Well, this time, I just bought it. I picked it up, carried it around for thirty minutes, then as I was about to put it back, I thought of this blog. I don’t want to almost read a book. I want to read it. I love reading, I love owning a book, but I hate spending money.

I just have a problem with spending money. I know why, but that’s a completely separate and incredibly personal post. I’ll tell you why, just not right now…

Anyways, I bought the book, and I’m so glad I did.
I’ll review it when I’m finished.